Say No To Crack

So here we are in our beautiful French aparment. Its decor does make me feel like I am living a Parisienne life albeit a bit more fluffy, floral, and overdone than the more contemporary, modern Parisienne I like to consider myself to be. Those kinds of modern apartments are available, and we did view our fair share, but it was not meant to be as none of them were in our price range. I couldn't resist- after one day here I flitted around our new home and edited various objects; candlesticks, vases, and pot-pourri dishes which have a new home up high in the kitchen. Out of sight, out of mind. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I really do like it here. For 1000 square feet, there is an open feeling within the main living space, the bedrooms are good size, and even better, there is a lot of storage which is very rare for a French apartment. Our apartment has lots of tall windows and even though I could do without the heavy floral curtains, each window has a window box on the exterior. I have always loved window boxes. The catch; I have to keep these potted flowers alive- oh, the pressure! Not to mention the beautiful pink orchid on the dining table. I have never managed to keep one of those alive for long. The one complaint I do have however, is the crack that runs down the middle of our king-size bed. I never understood why Europeans push two twins together to form a king-size bed when clearly, entirely intact king-sizes do exist. Do Europeans not like to cuddle? Are they not aware of the chasm in the middle of the bed? How do they make this work for them? I figured that the way I will make it work for us is by purchasing and egg crate to lay over the mattress thus disguising the crack underneath the foam. Simple. That is, until I tried to find one. I went to our local Monoprix (picture a 2-story Target) and they had a mattress pad. One. That's it. For a twin size bed. Even if it was a king-size, it would have been too thin to mask the crack. My French skills are not even close to being intact enough for me to feel brave enough to inquire if they have any in the size I am seeking. So, with my problem-solving skills now in full-force, I logged onto the European Amazon.com, specifically the France site. My search for egg crate brought up some random items, none of them resembling anything close to an egg crate. A ha, I thought. I need to use the free translation website to find the correct search term in French. I translated every possible term I could think of that related to egg crate, mattress pad, bedding, etc. I have come to realize that the French must say "yes" to crack because I can't find a darn thing to help me cover up ours.